Tags: IDD; intellectual disabilities; life skills; mild IDD

As parents, we often focus heavily on our children’s academic success — and rightly so. The knowledge and skills developed at school are important.  However, life skills are just as important as academic ones, and in some cases, even more so. And while some people acquire these skills naturally, others need to be taught them. 

Individuals with Intellectual Developmental Disabilities (IDD) typically fall into the latter category, requiring parents and educators to approach skill-building in a structured and systematic way.

What are life skills? 

Life skills are daily activities helpful to a person in tackling different personal and social issues. Some fundamental life skills include:

• Effective communication
• Time management
• Personal hygiene
• Household chores
• Meal planning and preparation
• Money management

These skills are quite different from one another, but they can all be taught using a straightorward method called scaffolding. Scaffolding breaks tasks into manageable steps, gradually reducing support as the learner gains competency.

This approach is often summarized as "I do, we do, you do." But how can we incorporate scaffolding into our daily routines?

Step 1: Divide the task into subtasks

Individuals with intellectual disabilities often struggle  with abstract thinking, and large tasks may overwhelm them. To address this, break down the task into clear, manageable steps.

For added clarify, use a visual prompt, such as a sequencing chart. Write each step on the chart and include a picture or symbol to make the process easier to follow.

Step 1 in action:

Say you’re teaching your child or student how to clean their bedroom. You’d divide the task into small components, like picking items up off the floor, putting laundry in the hamper, wiping down surfaces, and making the bed. You might even choose a subtask (e.g. making the bed), and break that down further (straighten sheets, fluff pillows, smooth blanket). 

Step 2: Model the behavior you’re teaching (aka “I do.”)

Your new motto is “Show, don’t tell.” By demonstrating the desired behavior, rather than lecturing, you’re allowing individuals with IDD the opportunity to observe and imitate. 

Step 2 in action:

If you’re working on a life skill like emotional regulation, you’ll need to model acting calmly in times of stress. You might even narrate as you go, and say something like “I’m feeling a little stressed now, but I’m going to stay calm and speak nicely.”

Step 3: Practice together (aka “we do.”)

Here’s where you get hands-on and practice the life skills together. As they get more comfortable with the task, you can gradually reduce your support. 

Step 3 in action:

If you’re teaching your child or student how to cook dinner, you can prepare the meal together. You might even provide some hand-over-hand support as needed. As he gets more comfortable with the task, you can gradually step back, offering support and guidance as needed. 

Step 4: Practice independently (aka “you do.”)

It’s time for him to try the task on his own. There’s no such thing as too much practice, so keep at it until these skills become second nature.

Step 4 in action:

At this point in the learning process, step back. Let the person do the tasks on their own, but be there to guide and assist if asked. And be generous with your positive feedback — words of encouragement go a long way when building independence. 

Patience is crucial in life skills training

Supporting individuals with intellectual disabilities involves  more than techniques and processes. It requires patience, empathy, and a firm belief in their potential. As caregivers and educators, how we approach the teaching process is as important as the steps we follow.

Learning life skills can be slow and, at times, frustrating. Progress may feel incremental, and it’s normal to feel discouraged. 

However, every small step forward is a success worth celebrating. Those moments, no matter how minor, are milestones. Your patience sends a powerful message: you believe in their ability to succeed, and that belief can make all the difference.

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Encouragement builds motivation

When supporting an individual with intellectual disabilities, remember that positive reinforcement is a game-changer. Praising their efforts builds confidence and motivates them to keep progressing. 

If you notice them struggling, highlight what they’ve done well and remind them of how far they’ve already come. These small affirmations help propel them along their journey.

Encouragement in action:

Instead of "You missed a spot wiping the table,"  you might say, "You're doing such a great job cleaning! Let's go over that one spot together — it's looking fantastic!"

Help them stand tall

There’s no confidence like the feeling of competence. Knowing you have the skills to stand on your own two feet is empowering — and the same holds true for individuals with IDD.

Having an intellectual disability doesn’t prevent someone from mastering essential life skills; it simply means they need additional support along the way. By offering that support, you’re helping them build a future where they can live, grow, and thrive independently.

If you need more information, check out our resource base or reach out to us so we can help.

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