From the moment our children enter the world, our instinct is to care for their every need. We feed them, bathe them, wake them up in the morning, and tuck them into bed at night.
We do this with love, and with the understanding that this stage won’t last forever. And we do it with the knowledge that our ultimate goal is for them to achieve independence.
The greatest gift we can bestow upon our children is the ability to stand on their own two feet. And while the transition to independence may come naturally to some children, kids with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (IDD) may require extra hand-holding along the way.
Below, we’ve included our top tips for promoting independence in kids with IDD.
How to Teach a Child With Intellectual Disability to Be Successful
- Be patient.
Easier said than done, we know. It’s a lot harder to teach your child how to do something than it is to just do it yourself. However, when possible, resist the urge to swoop in and save the day, and instead allow your child to learn at his own pace.
While we’re on the topic, try and be patient with yourself, too. You won’t always have time to wait while your child learns to tie his shoe, and you won’t always get it right. You’re learning on the job, too — be kind to yourself.
- Identify your goals.
Of course, every child has a unique set of goals. However, it can be helpful to reference the typical Activities of Daily Life (known as ADLs) for your child’s age to determine appropriate goals for your child.
Examples of tasks that are age-appropriate for a school-aged child include maintaining basic hygiene, getting dressed, and cleaning up after themselves.
It’s also important to establish goals in the social realm (like attending social activities or having a playdate) and to ensure that your child understands basic safety protocols (like not talking to strangers). And as your child gets older, it’s important that you involve them in this process, by asking what goals they’d like to work toward.
- Break down tasks into manageable steps.
Children with intellectual disabilities often find it difficult to process multi-step tasks. Break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and teach each step individually.
For example, if you're teaching your child to make their bed, start by showing them how to smooth the blanket, then move on to arranging the pillows, and so on. This approach helps prevent overwhelm and allows your child to focus on mastering one skill at a time.
- Use visual supports.
Children with IDD are often strong visual learners and respond well to visual cues, such as sequencing charts, daily schedules, and hourglass timers.
If you’re working on making beds, for example, you can take a photo of each step, and hang a visual tutorial next to your child’s bed, enabling him to accomplish this task independently.
- Encourage decision-making and problem-solving.
It’s not easy to let go, but allowing your child to make their own decisions is an important part of fostering independence.
You can start small, by asking them to choose their clothes or snacks. As your child gets older, it’s important to trust them with more significant decisions or challenges. We all learn the most after making mistakes, and your child with developmental and intellectual disabilities is no different.
- Finally, seek support.
If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a town to raise a child with special needs. Your village might include occupational therapists, behavioral therapists, and school staff, but it should also include your own personal support system. Parenting is hard work, and you don’t have to do it alone.
For more information on intellectual and developmental disabilities, view our overview here.
