By Mr. Hershel Wertheimer

Executive Director of Hamaspik of Kings County

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Question:

Recently, I’ve been having frequent nightmares and often feel panicky. I’m wondering if this may be connected to a traumatic event from my childhood. I shared this with my brother, and he suggested I consider therapy. However, I’m afraid that dealing with trauma from childhood will just make things worse. What do you advise?

Answer: 

The fact that you suffer from nightmares and often feel panicky suggests that these symptoms are, in fact, child trauma symptoms linked to events from your childhood. 

First and foremost, my heart goes out to you. I understand the pain you’re going through.

Regarding whether you should go to therapy to address those child trauma symptoms or if it might expose forgotten troubles, it’s important to remember that anxiety does not go away by ignoring it. On the contrary, it tends to build up and can become more and more intense over time. 

This escalation can affect various aspects of your life, and your nightmares could potentially worsen. Therefore, ignoring it is not a viable option.

If your symptoms aren’t severe and you feel you can manage, you might want to try self-regulation techniques, mindfulness, and coping skills for a short period of time. While this won’t solve the underlying problem (and it may resurface later), this can be a good way to manage your anxiety and child trauma symptoms if they’re not currently extreme.

All of this is good for the short term, but if you want a long-term solution, I’d recommend going to therapy. You raised a valid concern that the therapist might explore some areas where painful memories could resurface and make things worse. Here’s  the  approach I’d recommend for dealing with trauma from childhood:

• Before choosing a therapist, ensure they have good supervision and don’t work entirely independently.
• In therapy, there are two primary approaches. One is to root out the problem by revisiting the trauma and making peace with it. The other approach focuses on managing the here and now without delving deeply into past traumas. Both approaches have their pros and cons. The first aims to resolve the problem permanently, while the second focuses on ongoing coping and management of the child trauma symptoms. Discuss these options with your therapist during your first meeting to decide which approach suits you best.

I wish you much success in working through this pain and liberating yourself.